Messianic Jewish Counseling Devotional for Couples on Parashat Shoftim
Parashat Shoftim: “Judges”
Deuteronomy 16:18–21:9
Theme: Justice, Order, and Right Relationships in Marriage
Listen to your Devotional HERE
Torah Insight
“You shall appoint judges and officers in all your gates... and they shall judge the people with righteous judgment.” (Deuteronomy 16:18)
This parasha focuses on establishing justice, appointing righteous leaders, and building a society based on order, truth, and accountability. Shoftim teaches the importance of systems that guard relationships, encourage fairness, and prevent abuse of power.
In marriage, this applies profoundly: a couple is called to govern their relationship with fairness, compassion, and righteousness, just as Israel was called to govern her cities.
Messianic Perspective
Yeshua (Jesus), our Righteous Judge and Prince of Peace, emphasized heart-level righteousness, not just outward actions (Matthew 5–7). In a marriage, Yeshua’s Spirit calls us to:
- Be just, not only in what we do but in how we feel and think toward our spouse.
- Show mercy, as we have been shown mercy (Matthew 5:7).
- Use authority in love, never domination (Ephesians 5:25).
Couple’s Reflection
Ask yourselves:
- Who are the "judges and officers" at the gates of our marriage?
Are we letting Yeshua, His Word, and the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) lead us in how we relate, make decisions, and handle conflict? - Is there a gate left unguarded?
Have we allowed bitterness, unforgiveness, or selfishness to come through unfiltered? - Do we make space for “righteous judgment” in our relationship?
Can we lovingly confront issues without blame? Are we willing to listen and change?
Counseling Application
Tools for Shalom Bayit (Peace in the Home):
- Weekly Check-In (“Mishpat Moment”): Once a week, sit together and ask:
- “What’s one thing I appreciated this week?”
- “What’s one thing I need from you moving forward?”
- “Is there anything between us that needs to be cleared up?”
- Speak Truth in Love (Ephesians 4:15): Avoid judgmental tone. Focus on “I feel” statements rather than “You never…”
- Forgive Quickly: As Torah commands swift justice, couples should not let wounds fester. Forgiveness is the gatekeeper of unity.
Prayer Together
Abba, our Righteous Judge and Merciful Father,
We invite You to be the gatekeeper of our marriage.
Appoint truth, love, and humility as the judges of our hearts.
Teach us to listen well, speak gently, and forgive freely.
May Yeshua’s love rule over us, and may our home reflect Your shalom.
Amen.
Suggested Verses for the Week
- Deuteronomy 16:18-20: “Justice, justice you shall pursue.”
- Micah 6:8: “Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly.”
- Ephesians 4:2-3: “With all humility and gentleness… preserve the unity of the Spirit.”
- Matthew 7:1-5: Remove the plank from your own eye.
Shabbat Blessing Idea
Before or after lighting the candles this Shabbat, take turns blessing each other:
"I bless you to walk in righteousness, to love justice, and to bring peace into our home. May your heart be guided by the Ruach, and may our union be a light to the world. B’shem Yeshua. Amen."
Request your Messianic Jewish Counseling Devotional for Couples on Parashat Shoftim at contact@machasehsheltikvah.org
