Masterclass Series Journey of the Soul Clarity of Mind Part 4 (Video) (Audio)
Join Dr. Gavriela Frye at Machaseh Shel Tikvah (Shelter of Hope) for Counseling for a NEW 4-Part Series on Clarity of Mind: Dealing with Loss and Failure
When: Saturday, July 3 @ 7PM (Rome, Italy)
Part 4: How to Help Others Deal with Failure
How can we truly help others and be there for them in their time of need? What are the tools needed to help our loved ones on their terms, and not on our own terms? Is it even our obligation to help one who is failing?
Join Dr. Gavriela Frye as she illuminates the importance of helping others and making ourselves available to those in need from a place of compassion, care and love. There is no room for condescension or judgment. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.
By utilizing all the tools and lessons from biblical and historical events, and from the spiritual Messianic Jewish teachings, hopefully we can all begin to see our personal failures, losses and setbacks in a new light and in turn be able to help those around us with their own challenges as well.
Part 4: How to Help Others Deal with Failure
Previous:
Watch Part 1: The Messianic Approach
Watch Part 2: The Spiritual Warfare and the Conflict in the world around us
Watch Part 3: How not to fight ourselves with ourselves
Dr. Gavriela Frye
Part 4: How to serve Others in the midst of their own weaknesses
This article is in honor of the victims and survivors of conflicts, terrorist attack in Israel and the Diaspora.
Parsha Va’era teaches us about how we can deal with Failure
Last week we talked about How not to fight ourselves with ourselves recognizing the image of Hashem living in us as we were created in His image (Psalm 139:14) as looking in a mirror, we can miss the true image Hashem has created us to be and fail to align to His will trying to conform to the world around us (Please check our part 3 here).
Hashem created us to be His sons and daughters, inheritance of His kingdom of kings and queens, sharing His blessings. Due to our failure, through Adam and Eve, we all have been kept in sin and became slaves to sin until Moshiach Yeshua came to the world and gave His life for us so that we could receive His redemption and be free to access to His eternal kingdom of heaven, that was given to us as His inheritance since the beginning of time.
Today, we want to share some insights from our History and the Bible scripture were we can find ourselves while we look at the leadership of Israel that will help us all to overcome our failure and loss. One of the aspects of being a leader is how we react when things don’t go as planned.
After the first example of leadership failure in Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden, Hashem has chosen other men and women along the way to be His testimony of faith in every generation such as Abraham, Isaac, Yaakov, Yosef and He used them as tools of redemption for His people in their generation. He did not use a crowd to lead Israel but one man at the time, the chosen one in the family, not because of his or her high degree of studies and wisdom, but because of their faith in Him.
Despite the strong examples of leadership, Israel fell again into slavery for more than 400 years. After many years of slavery in Mitzrayim (Egypt), finally one man, Moses had this mission that seemed to be successful. He had feared that the people would not believe in him, but Hashem (God) had given him signs to perform, and his brother Aaron to speak on his behalf. Moses “performed the signs before the people, and they believed. And when they heard that the Lord was concerned about them and had seen their misery, they bowed down and worshiped.” (Ex. 4:30-31)
But then things started to go wrong, and continued going wrong. Moses’ first appearance before Pharaoh was disastrous. Pharaoh refused to recognize Hashem (God). He rejected Moses’ request to let the people travel into the wilderness. He made life worse for the Israelites. They had to make the same quota of bricks, but now they had also gather their own straw. The people turned against Moses and Aaron: “May the Lord look on you and judge you! You have made us obnoxious to Pharaoh and his officials and have put a sword in their hand to kill us” (Ex. 5:21).
Moses and Aaron returned to Pharaoh to renew their request. They performed a sign – they turned a staff into a snake – but Pharaoh was unimpressed. His own magicians could do likewise. Next they brought the first of the plagues, but again Pharaoh was unmoved. He would not let the Israelites go. And so it went, nine times. Moses did everything in his power and found that nothing made a difference. The Israelites were still slaves.
We sense the pressure Moses was under. After his first setback, at the end of Parasha Mishpatim, he turned to Hashem (God) and bitterly complained: “Why, Lord, why have you brought trouble on this people? Is this why you sent me? Ever since I went to Pharaoh to speak in your name, he has brought trouble on this people, and you have not rescued your people at all” (Ex. 5:22-23).
In parsha Va’era, even though Hashem (God) had reassured him that he would eventually succeed, he replied, “If the Israelites will not listen to me, why would Pharaoh listen to me, since I speak with faltering lips?” (Ex. 6:12).
There is an enduring message here. Leadership, even of the very highest order, is often marked by failure. Only in retrospect do heroes seem heroic and the many setbacks they faced reveal themselves as stepping stones on the road to victory.
In every field, high, low, sacred or secular, leaders are tested not by their successes but by their failures. There are times when even the greatest people stumble. At such moments, character is tested. The great human beings are not those who never fail. They are those who survive failure, who keep on going, who refuse to be defeated, who never give up or give in. They keep trying. They learn from every mistake. They treat failure as a learning experience. And from every refusal to be defeated, they become stronger, wiser and more determined. I used to tell our leadership at Machaseh Shel Tikvah that it was ok to make mistakes if you learn from them. What was not ok was not doing anything for fear of failure. That is the story of Moses’ life in parsha Mishpatim.
Rabbi Yitzhak Hutner once wrote a powerful letter to a disciple who had become discouraged by his repeated failure to master Talmudic learning:
A failing many of us suffer is that when we focus on the high attainments of great people, we discuss how they are complete in this or that area, while omitting mention of the inner struggles that had previously raged within them. A listener would get the impression that these individuals sprang from the hand of their creator in a state of perfection . . .
The result of this feeling is that when an ambitious young man of spirit and enthusiasm meets obstacles, falls and slumps, he imagines himself as unworthy of being “planted in the house of Hashem (God)” . . .
Know, however, my dear friend, that your soul is rooted not in the tranquility of the good inclination, but in the battle of the good inclination…The English expression, “Lose a battle and win the war,” applies. Certainly, all of you, including myself, have stumbled and we will stumble again, and in many battles, we will fall lame. I promise you, though, that after those losing campaigns you will emerge from the war with laurels of victory on your head…The wisest of men said, “A righteous man falls seven times, but rises again” (Proverbs 24:16). Fools believe the intent of the verse is to teach us that the righteous man falls seven times and, despite this, he rises. But the knowledgeable are aware that the essence of the righteous man’s rising again is because of his seven falls.
Rabbi Hutner’s point is that greatness cannot be achieved without failure. There are heights you cannot climb without first having fallen.
Calvin Coolidge had a good thought about not giving up. “Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not: nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not: the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.” I would only add, “Besiyata DiShmaya is an Aramaic phrase, meaning "with the help of Heaven". The acronym BS"D.” Hashem (God) never loses faith in us even if we sometimes lose faith in ourselves.
The supreme role model is Moses who, despite all the setbacks chronicled in parsha Mishpatim and this, eventually became the man of whom it was said that he was “a hundred and twenty years old when he died, yet his eyes were undimmed and his energy unabated” (Deut. 34:7).
Defeats, delays and disappointments hurt. They hurt even for Moses. So if there are times when we too feel discouraged and demoralized, it is important to remember that even the greatest people failed. What made them great is that they kept going. The road to success passes through many valleys of failure. There is no other way.
Moses had to repeat his ascending journey to the receiving of the Torah twice due to his failure to manage his anger.
But Hashem gave Moses the opportunity to receive the Torah on behalf of the people of Israel as one man under HaShem (God) as Hashem spoke through Him to His people individually as one in Hashem (Exodus 31:18) . Despite their failure to obey, to wait and be united in Hashem, Hashem gave Israel a second chance through a second pair of tablets (Exodus 32:19) to receive His redemption. Despite their unbelief at the feet of Mount Sinai in disappointment, depression, despair, division, oppression, self-pity, disobedience, rebellion, anxiety, panic, fear which were almost breaking their relationship with HaShem and the root system of their faith, Hashem gave them the gift of Torah, the inheritance they did not deserve, through Moses who interceded for them twice (Exodus 34:1). HaShem created Israel to be the apple of His eye and Hashem loved so much Israel to give His only Son Yeshua HaMashiach for Israel’s and the world’s transgression so that we all could live a life in the freedom of the Ruach Hakodesh.
An example of learning from failure that all of us know is the life of Rav Shaul, the Apostle Paul.
After Yeshua rose from the grave and was resurrected, his followers were filled with the Ruach Hakodesh (Holy Spirit). They began to share the good news about Yeshua, and many people became believers.
The Jewish leaders were extremely upset about this. They thought they had dealt with Yeshua by having him crucified on the roman cross of execution. A young man named Saul was especially upset.
Rav Shaul was an accomplice to murder.
The first time we read about Rav Shaul, he was an accomplice to murder. He was guarding the clothes of a mob that was stoning Stephen to death. Stephen’s “crime” was preaching about Yeshua.
At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their clothes at the feet of a young man named Saul. While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, Acts 7 59-60 “Lord Yeshua, receive my spirit! “Then he fell on his knees and cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them!” After he said this, he died.
We read that Rav Shaul was there, giving approval of Stephen’s death (Acts 8:1).
Rav Shaul captured Believers in Jerusalem and put them in jail.
Rav Shaul continued to persecute Yeshua’s followers in Jerusalem, going house to house and dragging people off to prison.
Acts 8:1-4 Now Saul was in agreement with Stephen’s execution. On that day a great persecution arose against Messiah’s community in Jerusalem, and they were all scattered throughout the region of Judea and Samaria, except the emissaries. (2) Some devout men buried Stephen and mourned deeply for him. (3) But Saul was destroying Messiah’s community, entering house after house; and dragging off men and women, he was throwing them into prison. (4) Now those who had been scattered went around proclaiming the Word.
Rav Shaul persecuted more Believers and voted for many to be killed.
Not only did Rav Shaul persecute Believers in Jerusalem, he also traveled to foreign cities to persecute them (Acts 26:11). He tried to get them to blaspheme, and he voted for many to be put to death.
Acts 26:9-11“In fact, I myself thought it was necessary to do many things in opposition to the name of Yeshua ha-Natzrati.(10)And that is what I did in Jerusalem. Not only did I lock up many of the kedoshim in prisons by the authority I received from the ruling kohanim, but I cast my vote against them when they were being condemned to death.(11)I tried to cause them to blaspheme by punishing them often in the synagogues. In furious rage against them, I persecuted them even in foreign cities.
Rav Shaul planned a trip to look for Believers in Damascus. Before he left, he asked the high priest for letters of introduction to the synagogues in Damascus.
Acts 9:1-2 Now Saul, still breathing out threats and murder against the Lord’s disciples, went to the Kohen Gadol. (2) He requested letters of introduction from him to the synagogues in Damascus, so that if he found any men or women belonging to the Way, he might bring them as prisoners to Jerusalem.
While Rav Shaul was on the road to Damascus, he had an amazing encounter with Yeshua and became a believer. (Read Acts 9:3-19.)
Rav Shaul learned from his failures.
When Yeshua confronted Rav Shaul on the road to Damascus, Rav Shaul learned that he had failed in his efforts to serve Hashem (God). He had been persecuting Hashem (God), not serving Him (Acts 9:4-5).
Rav Shaul did much more than learn from his failures. His life turned around completely. Instead of persecuting Believers, he started to tell people about Yeshua.
Acts 9:20 Immediately he began proclaiming Yeshua in the synagogues, saying, “He is Ben-Elohim.”
In the following years, Rav Shaul started congregations over much of the Roman empire. He was often beaten and imprisoned for his faith, yet he wrote:
Philippians 1:21 For to me, life is the Messiah, and death is gain.
Rav Shaul became humble.
Rav Shaul was a Jewish leader before his Damascus road experience. However, as a result of that vision, he was changed, he was deeply regretful and humbled by his sins. He learned from his failures.
Rav Shaul referred to himself as the worst of all sinners (1 Timothy 1:15). Also, although he recognized that he was an apostle, he described himself as “the least of the apostles.”
1 Corinthians 15:9-10For I am the least of the emissaries, unworthy to be called a emissary because I persecuted Hashem (God)’s community.(10)But by the grace of Hashem (God) I am what I am. His grace toward me was not in vain. No, I worked harder than them all—yet not I, but the grace of Hashem (God) that was with me.
Rav Shaul did not think Hashem (God) saved him because he was a good person. Rav Shaul realized that the opposite was true. Hashem (God) saved him as an example of his unlimited patience for those who believe in the Messiah.
1 Timothy 1:16 But this is precisely why I received mercy—so that in me, as the number one sinner, Yeshua the Messiah might demonstrate how very patient he is, as an example to those who would later come to trust in him and thereby have eternal life.
Hashem (God) brought unexpected (good) consequences.
Although Rav Shaul had been an active enemy of Yeshua and approved of killing Believers , Hashem (God) forgave him and used him to make a tremendous difference for the Kingdom of Hashem (God).
Hashem (God) used Rav Shaul to bring many people to faith in Yeshua, to establish kehilot (churches), and to strengthen the body of Messiah.
Hashem (God) used Rav Shaul to write many letters that became part of the New Covenant/Testament.
Lessons we can learn from Rav Shaul
Don’t give up because of your failures.
Learn from your failures, then dedicate your life to serving Yeshua HaMashiach.
Be humbled by your failures. Thank Hashem (God) for his forgiveness. Never consider yourself a “big shot,” regardless of your position.
Never give up on anybody. If Rav Shaul could learn from his failures, anyone can learn from his or her failures. If Rav Shaul could be saved, anyone could be saved.
Between Moses and Rav Shaul, we have some very good examples.
Loving others as ourselves
How can we help others to understand the freedom in Moshiach Yeshua?
Freedom through Faith
This weekend there will be gatherings all across USA and other nations to celebrate U.S Independence and freedom.
As a culture, we value our freedom highly, and because of recent restrictions experienced by so many, perhaps this year’s celebrations will be a special reminder not to take that freedom for granted.
This yearning for freedom was put into our hearts by Hashem (God) so that we would desire to pursue Him, instead of the bondage that life in a fallen world brings.
Hashem (God) offers us freedom in many ways; however, freedom requires a shift in our understanding and mindset to be fully experienced.
For many, freedom is the ability to do what they want: the 14-year-old boy free to play games all day, the college student free to party all night, the toddler free to refuse to eat his vegetables, or the spouse free to pursue the lusts of infidelity.
Freedom when wrongfully pursued actually brings greater bondage. However, when we pursue freedom through a close relationship with Yeshua (Christ), we actually experience the reality found in 2 Corinthians 3:17b: “where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.”
Freedom through faith in Yeshua (Christ) actually brings great benefits to our life, if we pursue it as a blessing from Hashem (God) for our good. Hashem (God) wants us to experience true freedom, and freedom is a great blessing from the Lord.
As you celebrate freedom with friends and family, don’t forget the freedom that Yeshua (Christ) offers to you as a result of His great sacrifice for you.
Free from the oppressiveness of fear
2 Timothy 1:7 – For Hashem (God) gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.
Fear can leave us feeling trapped like we have no good options and no way out. It’s as if we are stuck in a maze that has no exit, just dead end after dead end.
Through Christ, we can have access to power, choose love and build self-control, which help us overcome our fears. We don’t have to be controlled by a spirit of fear, but rather Hashem (God) offers to us freedom from the tyranny of fear through the resources He provides.
Free from the power of sin
Galatians 5:1 – For freedom Yeshua (Christ) has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery. (ESV)
Life dominating struggles and sin can tempt us to despair, wondering if we will ever find freedom. We may know that freedom is theoretically possible, like winning the lottery could happen to anyone who plays.
However, it takes faith to believe that Hashem (God) could really free us from lust, anger, or pride. The freedom Christ offers allows us to experience lasting change, and refuse to become a slave again.
Free from the sting of death
1 Corinthians 15:24–26 – Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to Hashem (God) the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power. [25] For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. [26] The last enemy to be destroyed is death.
The news reports next week will speak of tragic accidents and evil acts that took the lives of many. Whether car accidents, fireworks mishaps, intentional homicides, or natural disasters, death is a reality that we don’t like to think about on holiday weekends.
However, death is certain, but it doesn’t have to sting. Freedom from death, eternal life in relationship with Hashem (God), is what Jesus offered us on the cross.
He crushed death so that we could experience the freedom of life in Yeshua (Christ) eternally. Perhaps the greatest thing you could do this weekend is to be bold with someone who needs to hear this message.
Free from the dissatisfaction of selfishness
Galatians 5:13–15 – For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. [14] For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” [15] But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. (ESV)
As a teen, freedom was the ability to plan my day as I saw fit. Getting up, eating whatever I wanted, and relaxing! This still sounds good to me even as a parent and/or grandchildren of children and teenagers, even though it is rarely achievable.
However, the experiences in life that give me the greatest satisfaction are not really about getting what I want, but about helping others feel loved and cared for.
The Bible reminds us that freedom to be selfish isn’t freedom at all. Freedom to serve, to make a difference, is what Hashem (God) calls us to. Hashem (God) offers us something better than selfish pursuits.
Conclusion
Freedom will be celebrated this week, rightly so, as it is a precious gift. However, our national freedom offers us far less than our spiritual freedom found in Yeshua (Christ).
Hashem (God) offers us so much if we are willing to seek freedom through Him. His way is best! As you celebrate this weekend, remember to be grateful for your freedom in Yeshua (Christ) and take opportunities to share that freedom with those still in bondage.
Hashem (God) has put within our hearts a desire for freedom; let’s all pursue it in ways that honor Him and help others see Him for the good Hashem (God) He is.
How you can help others
Many brothers and Sisters, Jews and Gentile, have a heart for helping people, but they often wonder if Messianic Biblical Counseling Training is something they could do.
Maybe you’ve thought that it's only for people in full-time ministry, or for people who are thinking about becoming Professional Counselors.
The truth is, Messianic Biblical Counseling Training is for everyone.
It’s for parents who want to better raise their kids; a leader who wants to disciple others; anyone who wants to provide support and encouragement to their friends.
If you're ready to help others, Machaseh Shel Tikvah offers you the right place to start.
Messianic Biblical Counseling 2021-2022 Bootcamp for all ages: Let my people go! Program at Machaseh Shel Tikvah
Bootcamp for all ages: Let my people go! is designed to be a starting point to help individuals and congregations grow in confidence and competence in messianic biblical counseling.
Many students have learned how to biblically address common struggles, apply biblical truths to every situation, and help others experience lasting change.
Info and Details with I to IV Streams Bundle Offers and Courses Prices on A Bootcamp for all ages: Let my people go! Messianic Biblical Counseling Training Program 2021-2022 at Machaseh Shel Tikvah are AVAILABLE NOW! at https://machasehsheltikvah.org/contact.php
This in-person and online, self-paced Messianic Jewish Counseling Training Program is designed to teach you how to:
Biblically address common struggles
Apply biblical truths to every situation
Help others experience lasting change
We are so encouraged by the number of students who have already joined this year, and we hope that you'll also take this next step and learn how to provide hope and help to those in need.
An in-person and online Messianic Jewish Counseling Training Program that teaches you the foundations of Messianic Biblical Counseling.
Do you or someone you know need counseling?
We are passionate about helping hurting people. We provide Skype /Zoom Messianic Jewish Counseling Sessions for people across the world, and Live Counseling in 4 offices across Machaseh Shel Tikvah locations.
Are you interested in learning to counsel others?
We believe that the Bible has the answers for a hurting world. We are passionate about training people and messianic synagogues/congregations, through online messianic counseling training courses and events, to help those in need.
Training that helps Messianic Jews, Gentiles Believers in Moshiach care for the hurting.
So many people are in need of Messiahlike care.
They're struggling through life
Many feel alone, trapped, or forgotten
The world's help isn't working
Most Messianic Jewish and Christian Congregations don’t have a plan to help
They need friends who can encourage them with grace and truth. You can be one of those friends!
We offer convenient Messianic Biblical Counseling training to help you:
Develop Your Ability to Care like Messiah Yeshua
Learn to Address Common Struggles
MBCC has trained many people in Messianic Biblical Counseling.
Over the past 12 years, many people have benefitted from our training:
Rabbis/Pastors and Messianic Jewish Congregational Staff
Messianic Ministry Leaders and Volunteers
Anybody who wants to disciple others
Info and Details with I to IV Streams Bundle Offers and Courses Prices on A Bootcamp for all ages: Let my people go! Messianic Biblical Counseling Training Program 2021-2022 at Machaseh Shel Tikvah are AVAILABLE NOW! at https://machasehsheltikvah.org/contact.php
